Disability is already a huge part of my day-to-day existence, infact it has been a grim reality for the last 10 years. When I was hit by a car back in 2001, I broke both my arms, my left thigh (femur)and shattered my pelvis in seven places. Following extensive surgery, I had metal put in both arms, my left leg, and pelvis. Those of you who have known me a while already know this, others who have met me more recently, probably know I had an accident, but don't know the full extent of the injuries.You see, just by watching me walk, it's obvious that something is... well... not quite right. As well as all the fractures, I had a lot of permanent muscle and nerve damage leading to an obvious limp and a deformed left foot which is turned inward. I wobble on uneven ground, and need help going up and down stairs where there is no hand rail. I have been living with this for so long, I'm used to it. However, with this added left-sided weakness (caused by the tumour), I am feeling more disabled than ever. I am sure that not being able to use your left hand would be disconcerting for the most able-bodied person, but in my case, it takes away one of the ways in which I balance myself, so I feel even more unsteady on my feet. My cognitive functions are also impaired at present, I spend most days feeling a bit foggy brained and increasingly stupid!I also keep forgetting my left hand is useless, until I go to pick something up and it just slips through my fingers.
I guess on a positive note, having already had a disability for so long, I'm already used to adjusting activities and work out how to do things another way, but it is so ANNOYING. THe scariest thing (and something I'm trying not to think about), is that they can't guaratee things will get better after surgery, so I could get stuck with only one fully-functioning hand, but as I said to my surgeon; weakness isn't life threatening, so I have to have surgery and hope for the best.
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