Am I normal?!!

Firstly can I say that it is a little disconcerting, after writing blogs via Bloggger (Blogspot) for the last 2 years, that the site has changed it's layout so dramatically, but hey, I guess like the ever changing Facebook, I'll get used to it (until it changes again). The reason that I will be able to adjust, is because adapting to different situations and circumstances is one of the things that makes us normal as humans. However in my experience, being able to adapt and talk openly about a change of circumstances, when that change is cancer marks you out as anything but normal. Take for an example a conversation I had this week in my local village pharmacy: Following my trip to my G.P on Monday, I had (thankfully) been prescribed some dihydrocodeine painkillers. So I took the script into the pharmacy, in order to collect the drugs. When it came to signing the prescription, I was asked "Do you pay for your prescriptions?" to which I answered "No, I have an exemption certificate." I was then asked "why are you exempt" and I answered ( without thinking much of it) calmly, but clearly "I have cancer." The resaction is one I've slowly become used to. The pharmacy assistant looked horrified as if she'd done wrong asking me (she hadn't-she was just doing her job!), and the few people in the shop all tried their best not to look in my direction. You could have cut the atmosphere with a knife. In particular, I think what people find difficult is the fact I'm so open about it. For some reason unknown to me, the standard practice is to whisper the word "cancer" as if you're scared or ashamed (I'm neither) to say it out loud! Try as I might I don't get it. Of course having cancer, particularly that first diagnosis is bloody scary, as it is also for friends and family. But fear is in large part caused by misunderstanding. By being open and encourging people to ask questions you can (hopefully) quash some of these fears. At the end of the day with one in three people being diagnosed with a type of cancer, it shouldn't be in the territory of the scary unknown, people need to talk and learn about it. As far as being "ashamed" goes; get a grip!!! I for the life of me don't understand the hierarchy of illnesses and diseases which suggest that some are okay to be said loudly e.g flu, Asthma, Diabetes etc, whilst others such as Cancer and HIV/AIDS are supposed to be whispered and kept secret. Of course, I am not complete simpleton (honestly!), I know part of it is the perceived "seriousness" of the condition, but to put things into perspective flu causes 3000-4000 deaths per year in the UK, 1500 deaths a year are caused by Asthma,and there are up to 2400 Diabetes related deaths every year. In comparrison AIDS related deaths are on the decrease (due to improved treatment), with 516 in 2009 (sorry couldn't find any more recent statistics). In all honesty, Cancer deaths are higher than any of these with 156,090 deaths recorded in 2009, but this is for ALL cancers, of which there are more than 200. If you break it down it averages at about 700 per type, with many more easily treated types (such as breast & skin) not accounting for anywhere near this number. I refuse to whisper as I am not ashamed of having cancer. I did nothing to get a brin tumour; in fact unlike most cancers there are no known causes, lifestyle is not generally a faactor. And yet, there are times when I'm made to feel almost guilty for making others uncomfortable; well sorry you'll just have to live with it!! It's situations like this pharmacy conversation which remind you (in case you're in any doubt) that you're not "normal". There are a few times when I feel like this, such as the no appetite days, the times when I'm exhausted by 9pm, and of course "chemo week" when I feel about as far removed from normality as possible! But I've decided being normal is over rated anyway. I spent most of my teen years pulling away from the mainstream via my music and clothing choices, and I 'm not about to push myself to follow a perceeived code of conduct for the seriously ill!