As I have said a million times before, no two people's cancers are the same or affect them in exactly in the same way. I can only speak from my own personal experience, which this week has taught me that the third cycle of chemo really sucks! The first two were relatively plain-sailing; not the most fun I'd ever had (ovviously), but not as basd as I was expecting- just a couple hours sickness on the first morning eeah time, and then tiredness for the remaining four days.
However this cycle, which I thankfully finish today, has been a bitch like no other! On Saturday (day one), as per-usual I threw up about an hour after my first dose, unpleasant but expected, I then could barely walk for lack of energy all day.for the remaining four day I have had repeated bouts of nausia- supressed by anti sickness drugs, and have had no appetite at all ( those who know me well know this is extremely abnormal!) I have literally had to force my self to eat, not because I fill sick, but just that I don't feel hungry. At all.
It has been a very weird and exhausting week. I'm not sure why, this cycle has been so much worse than the others, it could be that third time round the chemicals have built up in my system more, it could be that this time it conflicts with my natural monthly cycle (to male readerss, I appologise, I've put it as delicately as I could to spare your sensitive souls! Or it could just be sod's law that from now on it's going to be evil! I really am just clutching at straws when trying to make sense of it, which incidently is what most people with cancer seem to do throughout the journey from diagnosi to treatment and beyond. So if you ask me something and I'm a little vague, don't think it's 'cause you've upset me, more than likely I just don't know the answer!
Ithink the other thing that's beginning to bug me ever so slightly (sheesh- this is turning out to be one long moan-fest!), is the monotony of my day-to-day life at the moment. Last year was incredibly busy for me, I worked hard at my job in Taiwan during the week and spent the weekends like a tourist visiting lots of new places. I had hoped to be doing the same in another country right now. The trouble is not only am I at home all the time but without work I have to find other things to occupy my mind, so I'm not always dwelling on being ill. I have been reading a lot and working my way through DVD boxsets, but have been missing doing new and interesting things - I thrive on change and the unfamiliar, which could explain my reluctance to stay in one place for too long. So I did some research and found that as well as all the expensive masters courses (that I cannot afford!), The Open University also have some free (non-qualification) courses on their website. so I have decided to take some, when I'm awake enough, as a means to use my time a little more effectively- to start with I'm doing a couple of philosophy and writing based courses. It may be a bit geeky ( okay A LOT geeky- who am I kidding?!) but makes me feel like I'm doing at least one new thing. I'm also researching possible holiday destinations for the summer as an "End of chemo" celebration, I'm a little tentative about booking yet until I know what's what healthwise.
The next appointments are for a MRI scan (29th Feb) and a review (2nd March); these are routine checks always carried out at the midway point of treatment, obviously I'm hoping for positive news, but will wait til the results and just deal with them whatever they are.
http://www.justgiving.com/Lucy-Cunnington0
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